Lynna G

What’s the title of this painting?

What is the title of his painting I ask myself.

I am so inspired- is that the feeling–so awed maybe–

By the complexities of the universe,

And the way that so much is going on invisible and unknown.

The very fact that there is a tangible real existence that we all believe in–so even colour for example-just that one thing that one glory in the world which is all about the way light acts on surfaces of objects and sends the happy little electrons scrambling and dancing to absorb certain rays,reflecting others – throwing out those rays to allow us to perceive colours.

Sometimes I am kind of paralyzed by awe and wonder that I get to be part of this whole
wonder of living in the universe–in the sense that I am here on this planet where all
these wonderful things are going on

Or do you think that title is too long for the painting. LOL

September 12, 2019September 12, 2019

Lynna G2 Comments

Inspiration and Cognitive Fires.

I am inspired by trying to understand things that I don’t understand. The unknown inspires me. Confusion and displacement and new perspectives– new ways of thinking inspire me.

I am inspired by everything that demands that I slow down and face all that I don’t know. Nothing is more intriguing to me than trying to figure something out. And nothing produces more anxiety. I guess challenge inspires me.

Painting is always facing the unknown. There are always so many questions. Every brushstroke, every scribble is kind of question. What will happen if I. . .

Then of course there is the inspiration I get from looking at the works of great painters and writers whose work is so masterful that it allows me to get swept away. Or a line by a great writer in a book that takes me right into the scene and in that imagined place, I find another place, a completely different place, where my own stories live.

And when I look at the work of other artists I feel invited into a world where new worlds are born. It becomes like a conversation somehow in the language of imagination, where one artist speaks and I am listening.

Art frames the world for us and opens doors in our minds that ignite cognitive fires.

Fairy worlds under our feet. Tread lightly — Fairy Worlds

If you would like to view more of my paintings click here

May 13, 2019June 4, 2019

Lynna G2 Comments

It all started with a 100 Day blog.

Welcome to not so secret online journal. Welcome. Thanks for stopping by.

In 2010, I made myself a promise to create something every day for 100 days and post it online. It was a way to connect with the world after long bouts of debilitating depression. I posted art, poetry, stories, thoughts, and dreams. It was my 100 day blog. I was really new to the internet. I posted something every single day except when I couldn’t –and then I would start over at Day One. Eventually my hundred day blog became about 200 days of posting art and writing and poetry. I got a lot done. I made friends with a whole lot of like minded souls, all over the world, and we shared our personal journeys and our writing and our paintings. Here are a few of those painting

Anyway this adventure led me into a whole new adventure of connecting with other artists and also to finish writing a play and performing that play in the Fringe Festival in 2011, as a solo show-despite unbelievable -heart-stopping stage-fright that had interrupted my acting career. I had a wonderful director Sarah Rodgers who took my rambling script in hand and together in a couple of weeks. We built the show.

So now it’s ten years later and though the Dogs of Depression continue to nip at my heels, I have consistently found ways to keep going even if my pants are torn in the process. The goal is always to face my towering fears, come out the darkness and be seen in the light. I have accomplished quite a bit.I have directed a few pick of the Fringe Plays, and November 2018, I was in New York where a show I was privileged to direct starring the wonderful Beverley Elliott, won Best Musical in The United Solo Festival. And 2019 has been filled with making theatre with wonderful people and making paintings with all the many parts of me. How great is that? If you only knew how ten years ago this would have been impossible to imagine. So here’s to art and creativity and the willingness to face self-doubt and fear. Here’s to a willingness to be seen. PS. Thanks for reading if you made it to here. Please feel free to share by posts. I would love to have more online activity with like-minded souls.

If you would like to view more of my art and learn more about my process click here

openings
Floating

If you would like to view more of my art and learn more about my process click here If you would like to read more of my blog keep scrolling down.

November 26, 2018September 12, 2019

Lynna G6 Comments

Painting and Writing and dreaming and stargazing

lunapicmorningstar

Even if we have a reliable method and a process that seems to work there is still a lot of mystery in making art.

It’s a act of faith sometimes.

Somehow magic is involved and patience.

Sometimes a story calls you to come and find it, but you can’t quite locate where it’s hiding.

I think an artist or a writer or any kind of maker has to be a bit of dreamer with a willingness to search imagination the way a stargazer searches the endless sky.

In a way we are looking for distant galaxies of meaning and metaphor–trusting that somewhere, beyond the dark matter of a half-baked plot, there is a story that needs to be told or a painting that wants to be painted.

Astronomers know that beyond the glimmer of a of a billion years lies astonishment. And an artist must be like an astronomer and trust that beyond the dark matter of self doubt that story will appear.

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April 7, 2018June 2, 2019

Lynna GLeave a comment

Hey friends. I have this little article I wrote that might be helpful for when you are experiencing a bit of a block.

Leading the Witness. A cautionary tale for my fellow writers and artists.

When I ask myself why I never finish anything- my mind will assume that this question is valid and that the statement is true and I will supply all kinds of evidence and end up concluding that I shouldn’t even bother writing or painting or doing anything artistic.

I call this particular kind of self-questioning leading the witness.

It’s like there is this big trial going on inside me and the prosecuting attorney wants me to confess that I am guilty of never finishing anything–and of course I have this very compliant witness inside me that is swayed easily and will provide lots of evidence that I am guilty as charged.

But the thing is it’s not true. I’m not guilty. I do finish things all kinds of things.

I have learned that when I feel stuck or confused, I try to ask questions like: What can I do today to get back on track- to keep me excited- to keep me focused on my writing goals? How can I make better choices to keep going when I get bored or confused by my script— or how can I increase my focus when I am distracted and in danger of losing my momentum? These questions are more effective because they have me asking a wiser part of myself how to do what I am trying to do.

A writer asking themselves why they are not writing might miss the implied judgement in the question, and judgement of self is not useful for moving forward in life or in art.

Judgement– to stay with the legal metaphor is a way to punish yourself and lock yourself up in a prison of self doubt.

Or if that’s too dramatic-it’s a good way to slow you down or even cause you to give up.

Who, what and how questions imply that there is a solution. These questions move us into a part of our brain where we can strategize and plan and problem-solve and analyze. How can I get the support I need? How can I organize my time to make room for writing?

If we want to transform something, change something, finish something, asking why is not the best way to do it.

Of course writers need to ask why their characters do what they do. Asking why can helps justify an action or a decision. But, writers do not need to supply evidence of their lack of discipline, dedication or actual talent around writing itself. That is a waste of your time.

So if you are wondering why you aren’t writing, don’t ask why.

If you do–well–I object–the prosecutor is leading the witness.

December 15, 2017September 12, 2019

Lynna GLeave a comment

Some work in progress–The beginning of a story

Lynna Goldhar Paintings

This is the beginning of a story that I scribbled down in the coffee shop today.
I have had this idea in the back of my mind for a while.
It showed up in my notebook today like this.

My grandmother was quiet and mysterious and knew mysterious things.

She was part gypsy, at least that is what I grew up believing.

She could heal wounds, and cure sickness, and she always knew how things would turn out.

She could predict bad news, and see right through untrustworthy people.

She knew what to do about both.

She had secret recipes, and special remedies,

and wise old sayings, to fit every situation.

She believed in good luck and friendly forces.

She also believed in the unfriendly forces,

and she took great pains to protect us from them.

I would watch her fill a little cloth bag with needles,

and nails and…

View original post 503 more words

September 1, 2017January 6, 2018

Lynna GLeave a comment

A New Year Wish for anyone struggling and not able to celebrate

“Face your life, its pain, its pleasure, leave no path untaken.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

It’s December 31st 2017. I am re-blogging this post from 2013, a very difficult year in my life and I’m sending it out to anyone who has struggled this year.

Life this year has been stamping it’s foot, screaming at the top of it’s lungs–that I should face my life and not look away. Well I have faced my life. I’ve stared it down, and looked directly at jmany harsh truths. I’ve struggled with all my might, mostly against my own self torment. And here is what I have learned.

1. Not to fear my fear.

2. Not to feel bad about feeling bad.

3. Not to be ashamed of my shame.

4. I have everything I need to create change in my life.

5. And sometimes disappointment and grief and loss are our greatest teachers.

So on this last day of the year when people are celebrating, I am going to take a moment to speak to those who are not.

If it has been a tough year for you–and you think you have nothing to celebrate–let me send you a message of hope. You are brave and amazing and resilient and strong, even if you don’t feel that way right now. And if you are looking into the abyss of your own lonely heart, let me tell you that I know what that is like.

Be kind to yourself. Be loving with yourself. Forgive yourself. Let yourself feel whatever you feel.

And if you have a hole inside you-that you can not fill or if you are angryand afraid, if you have a wound that has never healed–a mark that will not go away–remember you are absolutely beautiful, and your torn and tattered heart, only makes you more so.

I like to think of the Japanese idea of Wabi-sabi- and the beauty of things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete.

So Happy Wabi Sabi New Year to you my kindred family.

I have hope for you even if you don’t right now.

Let me hold your hope for a while. It will be here when you need it.

You are going to feel happy and stardust shiny again.

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December 31, 2013July 15, 2018

Lynna G7 Comments

Remembering December 6.

Every year I make this post to remember this sad day.

On December 6 in Canada many of us commemorate the anniversary of the Montreal Massacre,at L’École Polytechnique de Montréal. On that terrible day December 6 1989 14 innocent young women were gunned down-in a senseless and horrific act of violence against women. They were young engineering students-most of them-one of them was a clerk in the school office-one of them was 35 years old-and had gone back to school to study nursing. They were all filled with hopes dreams and aspirations. .For 45 minutes on Dec. 6, 1989 the killer, who’s name I will not mention, roamed the corridors of Montreal’s École Polytechnique screaming “I hate feminists.” Please take the time to say their names aloud-or read them slowly in your mind, and help me mark this day.

The women’s names were:

Genevieve Bergeron, 21 Helene Colgan, 23 Nathalie Croteau,23 Barbara Daigneault, 22 Anne-Marie Edward, 21, Maud Haviernick, 31, Maryse Leclair, 23, Anne-Marie Lemay, 27 Sonia Pelletier, 28 Michelle Richard, 21 Annie St-Arneault, 23, Annie Turcotte, 21 Barbara Marie Klueznick, 35 Maryse Laganiere, 35

As you go about your daily life today, please remember that Violence Against Women and Girls continues to be a massive global problem. I think about the Murdered and Missing Indigenous women and I want everyone to do the same. We have to make this issue more important. You could go here and donate to this organization.These folks have some good things figured out.

_____________________________________________________________________

LOST GIRLS AND WOMEN

December 6, 2013November 29, 2018

Lynna G3 Comments

Trying to write a poem

0n the death of Seamus Heaney

I am trying to write a poem

because I am sad–

and because

summer is ending-

and because

a poet I love has died.

I am trying to write a poem

because–

as the days grow short

and the nights fall so suddenly-

all my summers-

of innocence and invincibility

are coming to an end again.

As I face the ever expanding sadness

of this moment of my life–

As I face the turning of the season–

I am facing a turning in my soul.

I am longing to mark this moment

with something that will capture

it’s meaning.

I long to write something

to add to the map

of the unknown world.

Something to guide a weary traveller.

Something to put in that corner

where it says

“Here be monsters”

Isn’t that what a poem is?

A map of the soul’s geography?

I am trying to write a poem because

I am not a poet

Not really.

I am just a lost dreamer looking

at summer roll past

and needing to write a poem

to hold my sadness.

So here I sit fingers digging

into the soil of my lost

summers like the poet

who died has taught me to do-

trying to write a poem.

August 31, 2013July 15, 2018

Lynna G8 Comments

Insider Secrets

When I was a kid- my grade eight math teacher told our class about a mail-order scam where someone would put an ad in the classifieds–offering an ancient secret to becoming rich and famous. All you had to do was send nine dollars to a box number and the secret of unlimited wealth would be yours.

A few weeks later, a booklet in a plain brown package would arrive. You would tear open the package to discover that the secret was putting your own ad in the paper-and sending out the booklet yourself. You could buy the booklet in bulk. You could put your ad in multiple newspapers and then before you knew it you would be raking in the millions, nine bucks at a time.

I don’t think the mail-order scam is still around, but we have plenty of high tech versions of the same thing.

Recently out of curiosity, I signed up for a free seminar that promised to teach the secrets to becoming a best selling author on Amazon.com

I realized pretty quickly that the the free seminar was just a pitch for the upgrade.

An upgrade would give me instant access to the special secret insider info, which was being shared for the first time by the hottest-most powerful, most successful superstars in the booming billion dollar e-book business. Apparently there were over ten thousand people who had already clicked through to the upgrade according to the ticking counter on the sidebar. The upgrades were going like hotcakes.

Now I am a little bit overly skeptical by nature, probably because of the x-ray glasses that I trustingly sent away for when I was eight. My x-ray glasses were a real life lesson. But apparently there are many people who are willing to believe that the flow of wealth is only a secret away.

I clicked over to the upgrade page just to see what the deal was.

I saw–various upgrade packages available. For two hundred and fifty dollars you would get the seminar but the five hundred dollar bundle would get you the seminar plus the bonus lessons, and if you wanted to go directly to the sanctum of insider secrets– well that would be a thousand dollars where you could get the seminar and the bonus lessons and a private coaching session from one of the experts, plus they would help you build your own website so that you could sell your ebooks and offer seminars where you could sell insider secrets. Well, I clicked myself out of there pretty quickly– but I have to admit a part of me was thinking, “Was I being negative again? Was I being fearful and closed minded? Was I blocking the flow of wealth and money?” “No!” said the other part of me. What kind of inside track would you be on if ten thousand people were on it with you? That seminar and all those so called secrets were just the mail-order scam 2.0.

It’s kind of a metaphor for our human frailty. We want to believe there’s a short cut, a secret door, an easy way to get rich quick. Even rational intelligent people with college educations and a lot of success in life will fall for Ponzi schemes.

Here is my secret. And it’s free. If you want to get rich writing ebooks, write one. Find out how hard it is to actually write a book. Find out how difficult it is to shape an original idea and then develop it into something that makes sense. Find out how writing is painful and takes diligence and determination and time. A lot of time. Then when you have done that– you can look into how to sell it and get people to buy it. It goes for anything in life. Do the work. There’s no shortcut. There’s no secret.

July 2, 2013January 6, 2018

Lynna G7 Comments

Mind your own business

“There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s.” ~ Byron Katie

Today, I had the urge to write about something that I was outraged about. I was annoyed about a particular internet art star. I wanted to be the kid in the crowd who cries out that the emperor has no clothes. But I changed my mind. And even if I am right and the emperor is truly naked a lot of people love her. A lot of people hang on her every word and lavish fawning praise every time she overshares on her facebook fan page.

My grandmother used to say- “A still tongue in a wise head” In other words, keep your opinions to your self. So I will. I will not blab my snarly opinions, even though I want to. I will not be a critic. I will not be a judge. I will hold my tongue. It is just me being skeptical, about what I see as bullshit.

Truth is, I feel threatened by it. Not sure why. Some form of jealousy maybe? Some kind of resentful feelings about her success. Feelings of injustice maybe? My judgements might be my own insecurity. I don’t know. Then again I could be right. My skepticism could be spot on. What I see as a load of crap, could be indeed–crap. But it’s not my business. People apparently love crap. So who am I to try to counter that. Who am I to tell them what to believe. So I have told myself– Don’t sit around grumping in self righteous indignation about whether or not someone deserves their success.

You have your own work to do. I am reminded about my grade two teacher Mrs Clippingdale who never listened to tattle tales. She said if we were busy doing our work we wouldn’t be noticing other people not doing theirs. So thanks Mrs. C. I am taking your advice. I will do my own work. It’s not my job to save the world from naked emperors. Life is too short. So now–Back to work on this play. I am on draft three of that and I have a ways to go. Right now my play sucks so I need to stop avoiding it with indignation and other wastes of time.