Sometimes
I get scared.
Overwhelmed
Shut down.
Oh– these endless yammering clamouring thoughts.
Inner turmoil.
Craziness.
What’s wrong with me?
It’s just the old wounds weeping.
Just the old anguish re-instating itself.
It’s just the ancient inherited sorrow of my ancestors–
Mourning their loved ones.
Grieving their losses.
It’s just the old trauma,
My trauma,
My losses, my sorrow,
Claiming their hard won territory
In my torn and tattered soul,
Warning me of impending danger.
I succumb. I surrender.
I shake and quake and shiver and shudder.
But then I remember.
This is just one waking dream.
This is just one ancient human drama.
This is just one ancestral dance.
One story,
One memory in the ancient human story.
I can clear this.
I can dissolve this.
I can transform this.
With brush strokes.
With song.
With prayer.
Meditation.
I can both honour and transform the sorrow in me–
With Love-
With the living breathing–
and very much alive–
Love that does not perish.
Love that can not die.
Breathe. Exhale. Inhale. Release.
And remember to look at the sky.
Look now– at the endless unfolding grey
and white and blue–
and the windy clouds scudding across the endless sky–
rolling on to Tomorrow and Forever.
Look at the rain moving from the north.
Look at the miracle of the sky and remember the love.
I can remember my little brother, my father, my grandmother,
my grandfather.
In that endless rolling canopy above our world–
I can see the love that still lives in me.
The love that passed between us.
The love carried in my ancestral line–
The love that connects us all.
About a month ago my friend Connnie– artist and soulful mentor of so many– created a very special project to honour a beloved friend who had suddenly passed away. She invited online friends and fellow artists to participate. Come see it here. Piecing Together the Sky
